i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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