So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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