I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
