white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
