Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
