Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
