is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
