waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
