Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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