i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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