can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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