yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
