youre lurking in front of me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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