there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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