I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
