nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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