Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
