why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
