isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
