She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Your penis caused this!
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