Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
