Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
