That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
