ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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