i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
