Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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