I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
3 2 1 whiskey
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
