Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
