I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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