i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
