man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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