I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
