I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize