walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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