No stitches, just platelets and will power
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
