hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
