It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize