it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
