the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
