I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
