So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you would pick up someone in the library
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize