No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
