she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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