Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
