i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
