She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize