We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
