Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
