Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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