At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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