there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
