i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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