Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
