I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
