I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
