ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
