Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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