Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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