Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.

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(406): View more from Montana

I need a leather bustier to keep them in.

(925): View more from California

Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.

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(702): View more from Nevada

did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???

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(973): View more from New Jersey

My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"

(973): View more from New Jersey

That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"

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(845): View more from New York

Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling

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(847): View more from Illinois

also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.

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