She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
