If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Panties = found
Randomize
