Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
