ya dads aren't the best wingmen
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
