either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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