If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
