I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
