What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
