And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
