i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize