Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
