there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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