Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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