Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
