ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
