On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I could fuck to npr.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
