He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
