are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
