rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
