He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize