He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
