Will you blow on my dice?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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