the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
